I mostly get asked about how I balance it all: residency and parenting, as if I’ve unlocked a secret formula. The truth? I don’t. None of us really has. This is for every working mom, whether your job is demanding or routine. You’re still waking up every day trying to figure things out. It’s all about checking out daily flaws to avoid making the same mistakes the following day.

At the end of the day, it’s all about survival.

What’s tough about being a working mom is the sacrifices you make. The fleeting moments that can be missed, major milestones that need to be witnessed, photographed, and framed, and handwritten into some scrapbook. Something that you may look over when your kids are older, and mature enough to realize that you were there when it happened.

Sometimes, when I’m too busy worrying about a work event I might miss, a shift I need to cover, or an assignment that needs to be completed, I think of my little boy and wonder whether my presence matters and how big a difference it will make in his life. Wondering if my absence leaves a gap, and if showing up, even imperfectly, will shape his life. And right on cue, mom guilt taps me on the shoulder, reminding me it’s very much alive, as if motherhood alone wasn’t already heavy enough.

The ultimate truth is: your presence matters. It’s the part that no one emphasizes enough. Especially when your kid is old enough to start going to school. Attend that parents-teachers conference, attend the sports day event, go pick up your son on their first or last day of school, be there when they serve any special event, because that tiny spark on their face when they find you? It sends a rush through your spine stronger than any grand gesture of love itself. It’s in those seconds that I’m reminded of how lucky I am to be a mom. How grateful I am to be one.

So, yes. Take that sick leave as an excuse to attend an event with a loved one, take that extra hour, say no when work demands too much. Because your presence matters most to them. Work is work at the end of the day. It never stops. You are though replaceable at work, but not at home. And you might get scoffed at for ditching work, but screw it! Life is more than what we expect it to be. You matter. They matter.

To every mom trying her best: I see you. Your presence is the gift.