Have you ever wondered whether you’re complete? Like you’ve either reached the peak of Mount Everest or the peak of an ant nest mound. And by complete, I mean inner completion. Life satisfaction, self-fulfillment, inner peace. With the sort of work life I’ve deliberately chosen – which I may regret 10 years from now – I come across moments of realization and wonder if I ever did. Lately, life has been full of intentional surprises that freak me out. It isn’t lovely. I’m consumed with unrealistic thoughts, and unwelcome feelings arise. It’s the pending project, the additional “surprise” assignment, the piled-up study material, and a new clinical rotation supervised by a tutor with a stern demeanor and little patience for OBGYN residents.

Along with motherhood and my personal needs, my battery of completion is depleting. Ideally, when I’m facing my big mirror that stretches the reflection of my living room, where I can see my son using the floor as his canvas, I look at the woman I am today, the woman I’ve become. And I’m proud of her. Yes, she’s exhausted, has textured skin, finds it challenging to tone her postpartum belly, and cannot tolerate her toddler’s tantrums for more than 30 minutes, yet she feels guilty for wanting more quality time with him. She thinks of instant ramen every time she is lazy, which, not surprisingly, is almost every day. She signs up for a gym that she hasn’t yet seen its doorway. She reminds herself to dress to kill but looks like a hobo chic most of the time, especially when she’s on post-duty. Yet, she’s surviving.

She’s living. And should remind herself of how much she’s grown. Despite any challenges life has thrown at me, I should be reminded that “completion” is based on decisions I make up for myself. It’s founded on affirmations I believe in. Be reminded that you’re in the right place. That things happen for a reason, even if they’re challenging things. You are complete when you allow yourself to be. When you clear your thoughts, set your goals and dreams, respond to your necessities, and, most importantly, prioritize what’s important to you, you’ll eventually reach the top of your own Mount Everest.

“You are already whole, even as you strive to grow.” – Morgan Harper Nichols